Thursday, March 25, 2010

Family: What's new?

Ok so I last left off with my mom and I somewhat getting a relationship. She has gotten married for the 3rd time. Her new husband seemed nice and all. Supportive of her relationship with her kids and all was going well. They even volunteered to drive out to Va and get the girls and I with all our stuff! Totally awesome, besides the fact that the trip lasted 33 hours! Her husband has had many businesses in the past, the newest being a marketing company. They both really wanted me to work for them. Once I got to Kansas and thought about it and thought about how many businesses he's had in the past and why they aren't still around I decided not to take the job. Well other opportunities came my way but they just didn't work for my current situation, i.e. commission only and no benefits. So once again they offered the job to me and my mom was begging for me to come to work. So I started the following week. I was pretty excited once I started working there. The other two people who worked there was the office manager and graphic designer. Both of them my age and really great people. During this time I obvisiously got to know her husband a little more and I wasn't very fond of him. He seemed to be full of a lot of bs, he lied a lot, and the gut feeling I got from him was not a good one. They were never in the office and when they said they were at early morning meetings they were really at home still sleeping or only beginning to get ready for the day. I knew this bc he wouldn't answer the phone so I called my brother, Jacob (he lives with our mother) and asked him if he knew where they were headed this morning and he informed me of the real situation. A few weeks past and I realized this job was not for me. I just didn't like it. I felt like I was selling something, I didn't believe what he (stepdad) was telling the clients, I didn't trust him myself and I felt guilty putting peoples businesses and lives into his hands. He did hire 2 other people who also had the same job title as me during this time. My mom and stepdad started to realize that I wasn't doing well at it and my heart just wasn't in it. So the same day I told the office manager (girl) that I was going to talk to them about it they actually came in and said that they wanted to talk with me too. The conversation wasn't unpleasant at all. I wasn't fired, I didn't quit, it was honestly very mutual. This took place on a Wednesday. That Thursday I had court for something to do with James and my last appointments for them wasn't until Friday, so they went ahead and told me to just take thursday off and they'd see me Friday. I was going to bring cupcakes in and everything! So here comes Thursday, it started off like any other normal day...NOT! Oh you should also know that my car overheated and so my dad had it at his house to attempt fixing it and I had my dad's car, so obvisiously I left my keys there to with yes my work key on there as well. No biggie, right? Wrong again! Ok so the office manager called me and asked if I knew if my mom and stepdad were going to come into the office today. I said I wasn't sure and proceeded to ask why. She told me that my mom just got served court papers and they had my dad's name on them. I wasn't sure what it was for so I got off and called my stepmom ( Oh yeah my dad got remarried in May of 2008. Her name is Sweet D and she is awesome! She is only 7 years older than me and 11 years younger than my dad, haha sweet!) ok so, I called her and she didn't answer. Not too long after receiving the news my stepdad calls me and informed of the situtation as well as telling me how my dad was a douche bag, how he planned to F him up and he hated him. I told him I knew about the papers and he freaked out and said "You knew!!!!" and then I told him well not exactly, I only knew bc the office manager called me and asked if you were coming into the office and she told me. I also told him that he was talking about my dad and I still like him so he needed to stop bad mouthing him to me bc I wasn't going to deal with that. Well my mom in the background heard him say "You knew!!!!" and she starts freaking out. She came up with all sorts of scenarios in how the only reason I took the job was to conspire against them or trick them and plot with my dad. Okay seriously, really!? How those even begin to make sense in her mind I will never know nor is that a place I ever want to go. Her husband said he tried to clear things up with her. Which he very well may have bc she does tend to stick with what she thinks bc apparently what she thinks is always right. I'm gonna take a leap on this one and say that's not even close to the truth but whatever my opinion doesn't matter. Anywoo, by this point I am on my way to drop the girls off at the babysitter's so when my phone rings I didn't hear it. I saw that I had a voicemail so I checked it bc with all this crap going on I don't wanna miss a beat, plus the little icon popup things is so dang annoying. The voicemail goes as follows, keep in mind this is my mother!!!! "Maria, I can't believe you did this to me. I don't want you at the office any more. If you step foot on the grounds I will call the cops! (where have we heard that before? haha). I will pack up any of your stuff and bring it to you grandmothers house if needed. I never want to speak to you again, you really hurt me." And let's all breathe, that was intense...............................
So I called her husband again and basically asked "what the hell?" I had nothing to do with this! I had no idea. Plus my dad only wants to go after back child support from Justin (he lives with dad) she had to know that after two years she was eventually going to have to pay up! This literally can't be that big of a shocker little Miss Drama Queen! He then asked me where my work key was and I told him. He seriously dared to tell me that if he didn't have it in his hands by 12 that he was going to press theft charges against my dad and I. Really dumbass? What his my dad going to do with it first of all? One he has no idea where the office is? And two he is not as low as you, he is not going to go in there and still a box of freaking tissues oh and need I mention that the box of tissues in there are the ones I brought! And I reminded that I had court so I could get it later, my dad does live on the opposite side of town but by noon probably not. He kept pressing the theft charges and honestly just got to a point of annoyance. So after dropping the girls off I beat feet over to my dad's and grabbed the stupid key, yes the key was stupid. I then ran back to the other side of town to drop it off. I didn't want to step foot on their office grounds so the graphic designer (boy) met me outside and I gave it to him. The day went on and my mother's husband called to apoligize for all the things he said to me. I told him that the two of them were acting like idiots. This has nothing to do with him, with me, with my stepmom, with anyone except my dad and mom. I also reminded him that this was just for back child support. Not current support, he wasn't asking for anything that she didn't owe him. I also told him that if the roles were reversed you two would have done the same thing. And at one point in time the roles were reveresed and my mom took my dad to court for everything. Even things that didn't exist until the courtroom! So don't even act as if my dad and stepmom were doing anything wrong bc they haven't. Get over it! She brought all this upon herself when she left him 6 years ago and this was not some act of revenge or getting even. He simply was enforcing what needed to be. He told me that my mom wanted to talk to me and I told him no, this was not the time. I was walking into the courthouse, she told me that she didn't want to speak to me again and I don't feel that I have to justify my self to her at all. So time went by and we didn't speak. I obvisiously didn't go into work on Friday. The following monday was pay day. I called him and asked if we were getting paid today and he said no tomorrow. So we made arrangements for me to meet him at the office. My mom went into the hospital that Friday for some reoccuring issue she's had for many years now, its no big deal really. Well Tuesday came and I asked him when he would be in the office and he said he'd be heading that way in about an hour. I asked if I was allowed to be there and he said that my mom is the one who said I couldn't so what she doesn't know won't hurt her, so I went ahead and the girls and I went up to the office. This gave me a little time to chat with the other two at the office. Time went by and we ended up waiting for 3 hours for him. He finally showed and called me into his office. He immediately went into talking about my mom. We had a very interesting conversation. I told him a few past details about her and I and why Justin no longer talks with her. He told me that he has realized that her word is about an inch thick (using the hand gesture to demostrate) and he has got her numerous times lying. He said he really thought that she was the one for him and blah blah blah. I told him that she does put on a very good show but she is very flakey. I told him that I felt that my mom had no concious meaning her to be a sociopath. He said he has noticed that she is not a good person and has called his mom on numerous occasions telling her he wasn't sure what he was going to do about being married to her. Interesting convo, hmmm! So eventually we had to go and he said he would have pay for us tomorrow or Friday at the absolute latest. Friday came, Friday went. He never replied back to text messages or voicemails. He ignored phone calls. And not just from me, from everyone. So last week on a Tuesday, I sent him a text saying this "we are going into the 3rd week with no pay and this is getting ridiculous. I really need my paycheck. If I don't have it in hand by tomorrow evening then I am taking legal action to get it. I understand (insert mom's name) is in the hospital but you cannot keep ignoring your employees." So he didn't respond, by the afternoon I tried calling and he seriously ignored my call. Then immediately after I got a text from him. "Got your text this morning, you don't need to call anymore. You showed your true colors and if this is how you want to do things than fine we will take legal steps to solve this." Ok FYI, I have an issue with letting things go and keeping my mouth shut. I responded "True colors? I am just an employee looking for a very late paycheck. And you and I both know that with your business history the courthouse is the last place you want to be." This continues..."Strike two!" "Really? What was the first strike and what will strike 3 be?" " I can tie your name to bankruptcy just as good as anyones. You said tomorrow evening then fine I will get it to you." "Ok what? That doesn't answer my question." "You said tomorrow evening and I agreed so stop texting or I will contact my attorney and press harrasment against you." "Ok, we'll see what tomorrow evening brings. Good luck!" Um yeah, I never got my pay, yet again. I did however receive a text saying he certified mailed it to me. HAHAHAHAHAHA, ok buddy, you just want more time, I'm not a complete idiot, unlike some ppl. Not to mention any names. Anyways, a week has passed and still nothing. Except now I am no longer allowed to come to their house, like I really wanted to anyways, duh. And he is feeding my mom all sorts of bs talk that apparently I have said and to whom I have no idea so now she is all upset once again. Poor mommy can't deal with all of this bc she is sick and I am such a terrible daughter. Coughbullshitcough. Now they are telling my grandparents, who I live with by the way, God knows what. I literally have had no contact with anyone. I have especially not talked to either of them! They have no connection to my facebook page, nothing. So I sensed some frustration and tension with my grandma, especially after seeing a post that says something like "I can't understand how some people can go to church and walk around like they know God and treat family like such crud. How can they judge when that is not their place to? What type of relationship is that with God". Yeah, that was pretty much directed to me. It's not judging if the facts is what I am using! Facts that everyone and their cousin flippin know. I never made this personal. This is purely a business transaction or lack there of I should say. I never once brought my mother into any of this. I have only talked with her husband about this. I said I was going to take legal action against him not you all! He dragged her into this, he is a compulsive liar and not only can my mom not see that but my grandparents too? JEEZ! What else is a girl to do? I can do nothing and be blamed. I can do what is needed to solve problems and I am to blame. Whatever! So now I am trying to find a way to move out asap before anymore tension is built up where I don't want it to. I am in the right this time. I am being very christian about this all. I am being respectful and forgiving. However I will not continue to set myself up for failure over and over again. I refuse to have a relationship with such negativity in my life and my childrens. I want nothing to do with that type of lifestyle. It may feel that my intentions are not pure because I am taking action instead of sitting on the sidelines but at least I know when I stand before God I won't stand there fearing that I will be spending all of eternity in a fire pit. And no they don't have marshmallows there! So stop trying to find a bright side to that bc there ain't one! So now I just have to wait and see what is to come. I have notified mulitiple authorities of some possibilites, I have filed paperwork, I have taken every step needed to make this as right as possible. He has said again that he can guarentee pay by April 1st, however he would be complete dingbat if he thinks his word is supposed to mean something to me. So no I am not going to put an end to any action I have taken so far on my part. If a miracle happens then a simple phone will discontinue my actions and if reality happens then I am covered. As far as my relationship with my mom, if she magically is cured of being a sociopath, has given her life to God, and has made all the neccessary changes to be a normal, morally correct human being and decent mother than a relationship may blossom but until then no. And I am not sorry for that. I forgive you mom but I don't forget and for that I sleep just fine at night.

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